Tribute to Grandma and Grandpa Ray

Grandma and Grandpa Ray

When you have a set of grandparents that go together like peanut butter and jelly it is hard to separate them, so this tribute equally reflects my love for both my grandmother and my step-grandfather. Almost all of my memories of spending time with them include the both of them together. They were always doing things as a couple and they fit well together. They kept a height chart on a wall by the kitchen and would measure Russell and I when we would come to visit. I thought that was really neat, that they would mark up their walls just to watch us grow. Grandma and Grandpa Ray loved each one of their grandchildren very much. Perhaps the best way to understand who my grandparents were are to add in some quirky bits about them as I read this, like when they would stockpile extra ketchup packets from McDonald’s in the refrigerator and tell the same jokes over and over again.

Grandpa Ray always had a way of making me feel special. He married my grandmother when I was two years old and always told me that the reason he married her was because of me. I used to sit next to him when we would watch TV in the evenings and he’d scratch my back as we watched Murder She Wrote and other crime shows of the 80s and 90s. We used to go into the backyard to feed the birds and pick tommy-toe tomatoes, grapefruit, and oranges at their house in Miami Lakes. He also grew roses and picked a fresh bunch each day for the house, but I never helped him with that – that was a special project reserved for his wife. How special Grandma must have felt each morning when her husband would come in the door with a lovely bouquet of beautifully grown roses just for her. Grandpa was also a master marksman… well, maybe not a “master” marksman. He would get frustrated with the squirrels that came to eat the birdseed and attempt to shoot them with a BB gun. I’m pretty sure he never made contact though, because the aim on that BB gun was off by about 6 inches. But that didn’t stop him from trying. When they moved to Vero Beach he was always available to help fix a bicycle tube or share his Russell Stover chocolates with me. He loved to eat at C.J. Cannon’s here in Vero Beach because you can listen to the air traffic control chatter in the restaurant. He spoke little of being a fighter pilot in Africa during World War II but those flying days lived with him until the end… in fact, once he was not able to drive his car anymore he would try and convince us that he could still fly a plane. He was truly a fantastic grandfather that loved me unconditionally throughout my life. I always felt adored by him and I have many happy memories from our times together.

Grandma was quite the character too. She kept a paperweight on the desk in Miami that said “Once I thought I made a mistake but I was wrong.” Once I was old enough to understand it I thought it was pretty funny. We used to spend hours each night I stayed with them playing games like Memory and Hi-Ho Cherry-O and Trivial Pursuit. The amount of quality time I was able to spend with my grandparents all my life has been priceless to me. Grandma was the one who started taking extra ketchup packets from McDonald’s and sending them to me in the mail when I was in college, so I reciprocated by sending her Taco Bell hot sauce packets back. I loved sneaking into her closet when I was younger and touching all her beautiful dresses and playing with all her beautiful jewelry. That closet was where she kept her wigs too… she didn’t really wear a wig but her hair was always set the same at the beauty parlor so my dad told Russell that Grandma wore wigs and that was why her hair always looked the same. She kept hat boxes on the top shelf of her closet, i.e. wig boxes. It was a joke that ran for a long time in our family and she played along with us. For a while I called her “Grandma Ray” partly as a joke but also partly because she was always with Grandpa Ray so I naturally thought if he is Grandpa Ray then she is Grandma Ray. She would get frustrated when I called her Grandma Ray and tell me that her name was not Ray. That was probably the most upset I ever saw her. She was quite the looker and a proper lady, and enjoyed going to school and USO dances with her sister when she was younger. She always needed a few minutes before leaving the dinner table so she could reapply her lipstick – it was important to her to always look her best – and a lady would never be seen without her lipstick on. Grandma always had such a loving persona about her and you couldn’t have disliked her if you tried. She was always graceful, always sweet, always gentle, always gorgeous, and always peaceful. We rejoice in her life and the principles by which she lived.

I visited them so often in Miami Lakes that I had my own group of friends in the neighborhood. One day the girl from across the street, Sarah, and I rode our bikes to 7-11. I remember that trip to 7-11 well because that was the first time I ever saw somebody named “Jesús.” Having gone to church earlier that day I thought to myself, “Surely that isn’t really Jesus.” Even at 10 years old I was pretty sure Jesus wasn’t working at a convenience store. Grandma and Grandpa Ray would be able to tell us though, since we know right now that they have both met the real Jesus, and that they have been joyfully reunited in heaven alongside Grandma’s first husband, Paul Bidlack, Grandpa Ray’s first wife, Reeny, their parents, and their siblings. I will miss them both greatly, along with my paternal grandparents and my father, who died just 3 ½ months ago. We thank God for Grandma and Grandpa Ray’s long lives and their faithful service to Him.